Tagged...

I've been officially tagged by my cousin Heidi. I'm supposed to tell you 8 things about myself that you may not otherwise know. Problem is, I don't think there is anything that you all don't know about me! So here it goes.

1. As of today, Tyler and I have been married for 5 years! I was his first real girl friend and he's the first guy I dated for longer then 3 months. I have to say this has been the best five years of my life!

2. As Heidi said, I'm addicted to the internet. I think adoption does that to you. I check my adoption yahoo group, email, and other blogs, every few minutes for any type of update or new information. My addiction is deep enough now that, even when not adoption related, I spend way to much time on here.

3. Although most wouldn't know it, I hate being in a small group of people, or with an individual I don't know well, when Tyler isn't with me. I never know what to say and have this fear the conversation will come to an uncomfortable silence. I do just fine, and can carry on a nice conversations, as long as I have my "security blanket", aka Tyler, close by.

4. Academics is my biggest insecurity. I never did very well in school (just lazy and got away with more since I was second oldest out of 6 kids and all home schooled) and now feel very uncomfortable when the conversation turns that direction. My hands sweat if I have to write something in front of someone without the benefit of spell check.

5. Call me strange but I actually enjoy cleaning house! Although I usually opt to just sit and surf the web or watch a movie, I love to clean, and especially, organize the house. When I get into an energetic mood I'll fly around and clean all day.

6. Most people don't see this side of me (only Tyler and my kids see the full force of it) but I am a crazy individual. I love to talk in strange accents or sing in a wacky voice and bounce, jump, skip, or dance around the house. I do the oddest things...yes I'm weird!

7. I have always been sensitive, but after marriage and with each new child it has gotten MUCH worse! I now cry over Disney movies...yes the animated ones like Sleeping Beauty. I also have to really protect myself from sad horror stories (mainly true ones like the holocaust) because they will haunt me and make me cry for months. In the past few years I've become so fragile that Tyler has had to start protecting me from some things.

8. I just realized last night that being out here in the middle of no where is bothering me more then I realized. Although I'm insecure in small groups, I love to be around lost of people I don't know. I realized how much I'm missing this when I started to think about our trip to Vietnam to pick up our third child. Besides holding our son for the first time, the thing I'm looking forward to most is seeing people!!! Lots of them, at the airport and all over the big cities. Never mind the fact that I'm going to a new country, I'm just excited about being in the city for three full weeks!!

Ok, that's enough about me. :) I really don't know who to tag. Tyler is really the only one who reads this much and has a blog (I have instructions NOT to tag him)...so I guess I'll pass this over to my myspace friends...Dayspring, Mom, and Morning, consider yourselves tagged. Write 8 things about yourself that others may not know and send it in a bulletin.

Fishing

Yesterday we went fishing with a family from our church. It was at a small pound and the sun was making this beautiful path across it. There were so many picture perfect moments but, of course, I forgot my camera! I was so disappointed...so I'll have to describe a few of the things I missed on film.

Ellie was sitting in the tall green grass with her knees bent up. She was holding her fishing poll and giving me this sad little look. She was disappointed because she couldn't catch any fish.

Evan kept watching everyone else holding the polls and fishing so he decided he would join in. He sat on his camping chair right next to the shore and held his long stick just like a poll. Every once in a while he would shake it like he was casting, then just sit back and hold the stick out for a while. He was so relaxed!

We had a great time roasting hot dogs and marshmallows around the fire. It was a wonderful evening, and Tyler even caught two fish!

Frustrations...

We will be getting a letter in the next few days that says we have to pay the "referral fee" for the adoption. Since we were expecting to be on the waiting list for about a year, we thought we would have plenty of savings for when this time came. Needless to say, things changed!

I thought, "not a problem" we already have half of the money and we can get the other half in about a month or two since it really isn't that much. I thought the agency might let us pay a little now and the rest as soon as we had it. Wrong, they said that would be fine but they would put the adoption on hold until the money was in (Our agency is great about working with us, but in this case they need the money to pay people in Vietnam). Under other circumstances this would be fine but this kid needs to get help!

Again, "not a problem" we can get a small loan or low interest credit card and pay it off in the next couple of months. Wrong again. Oh, you mean "no credit" is the same as "bad credit". Umm... So now we are looking at getting any credit card that will take us (yikes...have you seen that interest!) but even those won't accept us right away. Since we have "no credit" they have to stop and think about it...Hmm.

Well we are now looking at a week before we find out if USAA will accept us and if they don't all the others are saying they'll let us know in the next 30 days! By that time we could have the money without there help! Arg... Anyone want to loan us a couple of thousand?? Just kidding...but your credit card...hmm, there's a thought!

Thoughts

I have had many emotions flowing through me as I consider the adoption. I do not question that this is the path God has chosen for us. Yet I keep considering all the uncertainties and possibilities. We have no way of knowing the extent of his condition until we have him home.

I have been dealing with the fact that I may not have that "perfect" child running around with his "perfectly brilliant" mind. But then the Lord gently reminds me, what is perfection? Is it our ability to express ourselves or figure out lives most complicated problems? Is it measured by the admiration and respect that others have for us, or the vastness of our physical abilities? This is not what God sees. This little boy may never be able to do what other children can do, but inside that little body there is a soul that was created ever so gently in His image. A child who, in God's eyes and in mine, will always be perfect.

Our Son!!

We have a referral!!!! We have decided to adopt Doan Phu Loc. He is 19 months old...only one month older than Evan. Yea! I get twins! We are very excited but nervous at the same time. He has hydrocephalus and unless treated it can cause serious brain damage. We are praying for fast travel dates so that he can come home and receive the medical help he so desperately needs!

I finally got the last document for our dossier back from the Vietnamese Embassy (they had made a mistake so I had to send one document back to them) and mailed the whole thing to CHI today. After they get it it will be sent to Vietnam and translated. Once translated our wait to travel begins. The wait will be 3-5 months. Regardless, we should have him home for Christmas!

Oh, and we will probably name him Ethan Scott Larson but aren't sure yet.

First picture we saw of him

OK, anywhere else think his hair looks blond?

He really doesn't look Asian to me!

Ouch...look at his head!

But that's OK...

nothing the computer can't fix!

Life Decisions...

I feel like so much has been happening since I last wrote! We went to Michigan for a wedding last week and had a wonderful time. It was a very relaxing trip. Evan loved the pool at the motel!

Anyway, Tyler and I could really use your prayers! We are looking at a little boy on the waiting child list who is 19 months old. He has hydrocephalus (used to be known as water on the brain). He has a speech delay (which could be from being in the orphanage) but is otherwise right on target for his age. He seems to have a very mild case of hydro but we really don't know. The medical report is very...hmm, vague. I do know that any medical intervention would have to wait till he was here and that would be 5-6 months from now. We have no way of knowing what time of brain damage could happen during that time. We have to make a life decision with very little information...in other words, we need lots prayer!!

Tornado Watch

If you were watching the weather channel you may have noticed the big storm in Kansas last Saturday night. Yep, we were in the middle! Friday night there was a town about 2-3 hours from us that was all but wiped off the map. One of our friends had a teenaged daughter there. Fortunately out of the 1500 people living there only 10 were killed. Anyway, on Saturday we had several tornado watches. We went to a friend’s house to hang out in their basement...much nicer then sharing the cellar with a snake and spiders! There were 17 of us in the house (the Wirth's, their daughter with her family of 9, our family and my aunt and uncle who were visiting). Keeping track of Evan all the time was a little scary especially when the lights would flicker leaving it pitch black. We had a tornado touch down about 5 miles east of us and one about 5 miles north of us. We went home around 10 pm but I guess the storm lasted all night. I have to admit I kind of enjoyed the excitment of it all...yes call me crazy, but I would have rather enjoyed trying to get all 17 of us into the little bathroom and all the kids into the bathtub! Hmm...maybe I'm too adventures for my own good!

Tyler's blog

Hey, just thought I'd mention my links on the side. You know...one of them is for Tyler's blog. Poor guy has gotten very few comments...hint, hint. I know he doesn't write much but if you just get on there and say "hi, I'm reading your blog" I think he'd like it. Hmm, I just hope he doesn't read this...

Change in the Waiting Child Program

I just got off the phone with Nikki from CHI and she told me that the waiting children (kids with special needs) are now being handled differently. They have developed a list of families interested in special needs children, which we are now on. Instead of placing children on the "waiting child" site, they will be offered to the first family on that list who is open to special needs. The people on the top of that list are those who have been waiting the longest. At this point the whole list is pretty short (just over 10 maybe) and not all of those families are open to non-correctible things such as HepB+ as we are. All that said, we still have no idea how long our wait will be. However, it is nice to know I don't need to check the list every five minutes as I have today. When we are first on the list and our child comes we'll get a call or email. So yea! for now I can relax and wait like everyone else. I have no control so why worry anymore. Ahh...I can feel the relief. And then again...I now have no control, I'm completely at their mercy...hmm.

Cloudy with a bit of rain

Tyler went on a "date" with Ellie today. They left to Salina this morning and should be back sometime this afternoon. Ellie got dressed up and was so excited! It is very quiet around here without her. I have to admit I've hardly notice Evan. He just quietly entertains himself and hardly makes a sound! I've been doing some cleaning but not as much as I should. I'm afraid I've been on the computer way to much.

The weather is a bit grim today...which matches my mood. I'm a little discouraged with the adoption right now and I've been checking the waiting child list, email, the yahoo group, and anything else that might bring at least a little news. I only know of 2 referrals our agency has received in the last three weeks so no one is really moving up on the waiting list right now. But I know that God is at work. I just wish I could relax a bit and focus on life right now! As my wonderful Nicky (the coordinator for the Vietnam program in the Kansas City branch) just told me "You will go through tough times in the waiting period and your feelings will ebb and flow. Sometimes it will be more difficult, and sometimes it will get easier. This might be a tough spell, but it will get better. I promise." ok Nicky I'm holding you to it! :)

Thanks for listening...I'm sure I'll be back to my normal patient (at least more patent then now) self in a few days! Darn these adoption hormones…